Zaphod gets pulled by Armed Response Police

By Zaphod

I pulled out of a side street. It was late on Saturday night, in a residential area, so the music wasn’t too loud, (Free- All Right Now). Not much traffic, but I noticed that the car coming was a police car, so I turned it down. They do like an excuse to pull a transit late at night. (Is this some kind of “ism”).

He followed me for a couple of miles, staying well back. Maybe he was just going the same way? Maybe he only wanted to do 27 mph too? He wasn’t catching me up.

He was waiting for backup.

Another car caught him up, and then they both switched the blues on.

I stopped, switched off, opened the door, and started to get out. (I always do that, it takes away their first opportunity to tell me what to do.)  He appeared at the passenger window, “Switch off and step out please, sir.”

“It is off, and I’m already half out.”

Out on the pavement, there are three of them. They’ve got the full kit, bristling with belts and pouches and exciting dangly things.

“Do you know why I stopped you, sir?”

“No, I don’t know why you stopped me. Why have you stopped me?”

“When you pulled out of  the side street-“

“No, there was plenty of room. You didn’t need to brake, did you?”

“No, I didn’t need to brake, but that’s a ‘Stop and Give Way’, you didn’t quite stop.”

“So, you’ve got an excuse. What do you want?”

“Would you come and sit in the car please, sir?”

“No, I won’t. I object to being locked in.”

“Eh?”

“You’ll lock the door. I don’t like being detained against my will.”

“You’ve been stopped before?”

“I drive a transit, you like stopping transits.”

“As you’re smoking, we need to wait 10 minutes to do a breathalyser.”

“Okay.”

“I can smell cannabis on you. Have you got any?”

“No, you can’t. No, I haven’t.”

“Yes, I can.”

“Nice try. Good bluff.  No. You. Can’t.”

“I can!”

“No.   You.   Can’t.”

So we all got chatting while we waited. I couldn’t keep up the attitude.

“Are you a musician? You’ve got a lot of speakers in the back.”

“No, that’s just my stereo.”

“What? They’re all wired up?”

They were quickly sorry that they’d asked. “Blah blah, kilowatts, amps, etc”

We were just four guys now, brandishing our technology.

“What’s all that kit you’re carrying? Is it all necessary?”

“You wouldn’t believe how heavy it all is.”

“Is that a gun? It’s a gun! Ah no, it’s a Taser?”

“No, this one is a Taser, that one is the gun.”

“Wow!”

Cop Two says, “I’ve got a gun too!”

Cop Three says, “I’ve got a Taser!” (Nobody was impressed.)

They weren’t a bad bunch of lads. We parted on good terms. They didn’t attempt to search the van.

I get pulled a lot, but I’ve never had an Armed Response Team before!

Are you a Man or a Mouse?

Frank Miniter has wrote an article entitled “England Used to Be a Country of Men” where he laments about what has become of our Country. He writes from his American point of view but it is has merit. He states that our various goverments have, over a period of time, made the population totally defenseless but worse than that subservient too. l have to agree with that when l see such as the UKBA taking advantage of this mindset of our fellow citizens as they meekly obey any instructions/orders barked at them.

It goes much further than that though. Recently we have been told we can defend our homes (well, sort of) but what about when we are on the streets? And what about our mothers, wives, girlfriends and daughters? They too are allowed nothing to protect themselves. All this is because we are told the police will protect us … yeah right! All that happens is they pick up the pieces after the event and then return to their CCTV so they can ‘find’ the attackers. A little too late for our womenfolk though isn’t it?

So, in order to defend ourselves and for our women to defend themselves, we have to become criminals ourselves in the eyes of the law. l’m not advocating guns like Frank, but there are many other defensive tools that can be used to incapacitate attackers … and virtually all are illegal to own or carry.  This being the case, in order to protect ourselves and our families  from the muggers, rapists etc (and our own government) … we have to become devious too.

So be it!

Excerpt from Frank’s article :-

“Well, okay, sure, the English people did for too long accept the unmanly ditherings of Neville Chamberlain before World War II. Nevertheless, something has changed in the English character. These aren’t the proud men who once made the whole world look them in the eyes. I submit that one of the chief causes of their now emasculated spirit is the loss of so much of their individual liberty — like a child used to a parent fighting his or her battles, a people dependent on their government for everything cannot take care of themselves and are prone to childish outbursts.

By giving up their natural right to self-defense, for example, England’s law-abiding citizens have become defenseless both physically and psychologically. The loss of their right to self-preservation has created a culture of dependency on government (for protection and so much more) that has helped neuter the English male. This has also prompted some English citizens to blame the police for the crime rates that law enforcement is legally constrained from doing anything practical to fight.

Britain’s licensing of gun owners and the registration of their firearms made it easy for the government to take guns from law-abiding citizens after a mass-murderer in Hungerford killed 16 people in 1987. Within the next decade, British politicians criminalized possession of most handguns — the final deadline for turning them in was Feb. 27, 1998. (This is something liberals would like to do in the U.S., too.) Yet, few have subsequently pointed to the victims of this anti-freedom gun confiscation. The English papers haven’t interviewed victims of rape and other crimes and asked what they might have done if they had the ability to defend themselves from criminals.

Curbing violence, naturally, was the goal English politicians said they’d attain in return for law-abiding citizens’ handing over this basic human liberty; however, after the U.K. disarmed its population, England attained the highest burglary rate and one of the highest rates for violent crimes of the industrialized nations, according to the International Crime Victims Survey carried out by the Dutch Ministry of Justice in 2000. As the Guardian put it on Feb. 23, 2001, the study “shows England and Wales as the top of the world league with Australia as the countries where you are most likely to become a victim of crime.” More recently, on July 3, 2009, England’s newspaper the Daily Mail reported that “Britain’s violent crime record is worse than any other country in the European Union, it has been revealed. Official crime figures show the U.K. also has a worse rate for all types of violence than the U.S. and even South Africa.”

Meanwhile, British politicians have reacted to the irrefutable failure of their gun-control schemes by calling for more of the same. They’ve even recently banned starter pistols. Given that they’ve disarmed the law-abiding public and obviously can’t disarm the criminals, what else can they do in this time of violence? What some in the government would like to do can be chillingly found in a July 2002 English government “white paper” titled “Justice for All.” This paper argued that the government needs to: allow the use of hearsay evidence in trials; remove the double-jeopardy rule for serious cases, including cases that have already been resolved under the current system; and eliminate the right to trial by jury in many cases.

As the English hand their government more of their individual liberty — and thereby their self-reliant manliness — their government becomes more authoritarian. Individuals have diminished means for protecting themselves and their property, which should have made London’s looting, vandalism, and other crimes very predictable. I’ve had several recent conversations with Englishmen, who have led me to conclude that the English people will continue to hand over their liberty in the hopes that one day — despite all the lessons from history and human nature — their government will create the peaceful, socialist utopia they’ve long been promised.
For example, I recently broached this topic with an English salesman at my favorite shoe company, Johnston & Murphy. He commented that he’s frightened by America’s “gun culture” and added that Americans needs to drop “their Wild West attitude.” I listened patiently before pointing out that England currently looks a little more like the Wild West. He wasn’t swayed. I pointed out that gun rights are women’s rights, as they make the frailest woman the equal of the strongest male. He kept shaking his head.

So I used a largely forgotten piece of history that always makes Englishmen blush: After Dunkirk in May of 1940, only the British Navy, an outnumbered British air corps, and about 20 miles of water protected the English people from German invasion. In their retreat back to England, the British forces lost much of their firearms and weaponry; meanwhile, gun-control laws passed after World War I had mostly disarmed British civilians, leaving the English people helpless.

Aware of their plight, a group of Americans, headed by C. Suydam Cutting, established the “American Committee for Defense of British Homes,” a group that ran an ad in the National Rifle Association’s official journal American Rifleman that read in part: “Send a Gun to Defend a British Home.” The NRA subsequently sent more than 7,000 private arms to England. The U.S. military, of course, sent many more. Winston Churchill said, “We had become a hornet’s nest. Anyhow, if we had to go down fighting . . . a lot of our men and women had weapons in their hands.”

After relating this history, I told the English shoe salesman that “if your people ever need to protect their freedom again, Americans will be there for you.” He wasn’t so sure.

Now I wonder, after seeing that Englishmen strip for a looter, would it even matter?.”

Full Article

John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, Meryl Streep, Smoking Police and V8 Mustang

I’d been driving since late afternoon down the I-35 South from Minneapolis, Minnesota  in a rented 4.6L V8 red Mustang GT Convertible (it had only 900 miles on clock). lt was mid-summer and l had the hood down until dusk came and the temperature dropped. Until then it had been blazing sunshine and hot. Lynryd Skynryd’s greatest hits was blasting out ever since l bought it (along with some wrap around biker shades) at a truck stop and l’d had the hammer down as they say in the States. I was also wearing a bandana to protect my shaven head from the sun (good way too cool down, just soak the bandana in water) Large coffee in the cup holder, a few cans of Coca Cola, pack of Marlboro … life didn’t get much better than this! Perfection would’ve been a babe in the passenger seat … but hey, l wasn’t complaining.
Some will accuse me of posing … damn right l was!

As l continued driving through the night, hurtling past the trucks lit up like Christmas trees, l began to get tired. lt was about 1.30 am and l was deep into Iowa so l decided to look for somewhere to stay. A few miles further down the road l began to see signs for Winterset, Iowa …Birthplace of John Wayne. . It brought back fond memories of watching John Wayne movies with my late father so l decided then and there to go to Winterset. l pulled off the freeway and a few miles later arrived in Winterset and drove down John Wayne Drive. l’d expected a larger town but it was small … population 4764 and was to find later predominately white. Even now it only has 13 Asians, 7 Native Americans and 3 Blacks. Crime is almost zero and they’ve had just 4 traffic fatalities in over 10 years or more … and they were all down to drunk drivers.

Winterset at 2.00am in the morning is a ghost town and there was a distinct lack of motels. l then spotted a car ahead of me stopped at the traffic lights. lt was a police black and white. Pulling along side of it, the policeman turned to look at me as l powered my window down. l thought he was alone but suddenly a German Shepherd dog reared up from his back seat. lt didn’t bark at me … it just stared. The policeman also powered his window down. l realised later that what l was doing was not particularly the thing to do. l’m sure the American police are very wary of such things. His face showed no emotion and he probably had already reached for his gun.

His stern look disappeared when he heard my accent as l asked if he knew anywhere l could stay the night. ‘Are you British?’ he asked, l said yes. He grinned and then directed me to park up in the adjacent shopping mall parking lot. We both pulled over and l got out of the Mustang as he did his police car. l greeted him and reached for my Marlboros, lit up and then offered him one. He muttered he shouldn’t really but accepted my offering.

He told me there were not many motels in the area but said if l waited a while he’d make a call and see what he could do. He called the police station on his radio. He told his friend Mac that he had a guy from England looking for a place to stay the night so would he call Jimmy to see what he could do. l had no idea who Jimmy was but l did know it was past 2.00am in the morning and the police were just about to wake him up.

We continued chatting about where l was from, the usual associations Americans have with England … WW2 and so on. Whilst we were doing this he got the other participant out to meet me … Duke, his dog. l kid you not, it had to be Duke didn’t it? His radio then burst into life, it was Mac and he said that  Jimmy did have room for me. The policeman, or l should say Cole as we were on first name terms now, started giving me directions but then changed his mind and said to follow him.

The motel was just outside of town and we were met by Jimmy. l thanked Cole and then remembered l was running out of Marlboros so l asked him where l could get some. He said the cheapest place by far was the Indian Tobacco Shop but they were closed now. He then reached into his car and produced a pack of Marlboros and gave them to me. l asked him how much and he said $3 but when l looked in my wallet l had only $20 bills. Cole had no change and neither did Jimmy. Cole then said it was no problem and to just drop it off tomorrow at the Northside Cafe in town. l asked wherabouts it was and they both laughed. lt was another of Winterset’s attractions, it was where Clint Eastwood used in his Bridges of Madison County film with Meryl Streep. Not only that but other locations too and all the bridges round the town. I laughed and apologised for not knowing and promised to drop off his $3 the next day. With that Cole said bye and drove off. Jimmy checked me in and l crashed out.

The next morning l woke up and had coffee and a smoke whilst l read all the tourist literature on Winterset. l decided to stay for another night so l could have a look about. l went down to the town centre and there was Northside Cafe in the town square .. you couldn’t miss it. l went in, ordered a coffee and sat at the bar where Eastwood sat in the film. l asked the waitress if she could give Cole the policeman the $3 l had for him. She said there was no necessity to as he was in the backroom of the cafe.

l was just expecting to see Cole in the backroom but he was far from alone, it was some sort of town meeting. l apologised and turned to go back out. They wouldn’t let me, Cole introduced me along with the story of the Mustang and the Brit pulling up alongside of him. l stayed with them, having coffees brought me, smoking and talking about my country and theirs.After about an hour l finally left Northside Cafe accompanied by Cole and Duke (who l hadn’t noticed until we left). l asked Cole where the lndian Tobacco Shop was but he said there was no need. He took me over to his black and white and took a carton of Marlboros out the back. He said he’d been that morning for himself and if l wanted a carton he’d let me have them or he’d split them if l preferred. l paid him $30 for the carton, thanked him, said farewell and left.

I had a truly great day in the glorious sunshine driving around in the Mustang. l visited John Waynes House, the bridges, the farmhouse used as Streep’s home in the film (well the remains of, because an arsonist had set fire to it in 2003), other bridges and sites that weren’t in the film and met and talked to many friendly people along the way. As evening approached l pulled into the parking lot of the motel. After freshening up l ventured into the bar next to the motel, had something to eat … a steak! … a real steak that only Americans can do! Liberal amounts of JD and beer chasers turned into copious amounts and last thing l remembered about the bar was playing 8 ball pool with the locals.

The next morning after coffee and a smoke or l should say coffees and smokes, l loaded up the Mustang, dropped the hood, fired up the beast, turned the sounds up and set off to McCalester Oklahoma. Sadly in Missouri my relationship with the Mustang was to become the beginning of a premature end. l hit a pothole on the freeway (a freeway! not some poxy road … a freeway!) near Kansas City interchange to St Louis and smashed the front alloy wheel beyond repair. l had to change to the stupid emergency wheel that’s not much better than a bicycle wheel and limp on to McCalester. lt was early hours of the morning when l got there. The next morning revealed the rear tyre had now gone down too.

The rental company was ok but because it was McCalester Oklahoma they didn’t stock Mustangs or anything like it. All they had were saloons, nice saloons but no fun. Then l had a brainwave …. a pickup. So l ended up with a 5.7 L Dodge Ram, fully-loaded … a beast of a different sort but a beast none the less. Fun too, a different sort of fun but still fun.

Winterset wasn’t planned, it was off the cuff but it will remain one of the most cherished memories of my life.

l hope that you too will enjoy such an experience in your life or have experienced such already … and with that l’ll leave you with the actual 4.6Litre V8 Mustang GT Convertible …. and Freebird!

Halcyon Days!

Liar Liar … Pants on Fire Part 2

Now we are slowly coming to the crux of the matter. UKBA Complaints Team were investigating my complaint regarding my detainment … which you can see here.

The UKBA complaint wasn’t actually a complaint to them specifically as l’d sent my complaint to the airport and not UKBA but seeing as they were investigating, l let it continue. Today l recieved their response … well sort of. lt seems that the UKBA Complaints Team sent their response to the Head of UKBA  at the airport, he read it and then wrote a response of his own to my complaint. l do find this somewhat strange and l have no idea what the Complaints Team response says … l only have the Head of UKBA at the airport version. 🙂 He’s responding to a complaint about his own team of which he is in charge of. 🙂

Anyway, this response states that l was never detained! … quote :-

“At no point did any of our officers tell you that you were under arrest or being detained. ……………………………………..
As I have said above at no time were you detained or arrested you were asked to wait which you did”

Oh really? what’s this then? Mr UKBA saying “Keep them there ….” “Let them go” (these clips taken from full recording here)

Added to this is the Chief Superintendent now writing to me today and saying the UKBA officer did issue orders to hold me but did not give any justifiable reason for doing so. He apologises for the inconvienience caused to me and says that he is now revising how his officers respond to instructions from the UKBA at the airport. Specifically the UKBA have to give valid legal reasons to his officers before they act … or don’t, if no justifiable legal reason is not forthcoming.

l have now written to this Head of UKBA at the airport and accused the UKBA officers involved in my detainment of not telling the truth … er, what’s the word for it? Ah yes, l think it’s called perjury! LYING! (h/t Adi … comment 5)

lnteresting times indeed!

Police decide to lie on record but I GOTCHA!

I wrote a letter of our ordeal at the airport to the Chief Superintendent. I put down all the facts and was not devious or tried entrapment. I told him that I had recorded the whole incident but obviously he did not believe me or thought I was bluffing. He then replied and gave the senior officer’s (who was involved in the incident) version of the said incident. In the reply he states that the officer states and I quote :-

“He says the interaction with yourself and other passengers was very amiable and appropriate. He stated that he was not aware of any specific reason for detention as far as the Police were concerned and had any person decided to get up and leave he would simply have allowed that to happen. The only reason for his presence was to support UKBA and prevent any Breach of the Peace”

I cannot understand why he would put this on record after I had warned him that I had recorded the incident. Here is 2 portions of the recording containing the threat of arrest if we tried to leave:-

 

Carry a Samuria ‘sword’ and be invisible to Police

I purchased a samurai umbrella as mentioned here. Last weekend l had the opportunity to road test it. On Sunday l got a taxi to the train station. I was dressed casual in jeans and had a small rucksack and carried the umbrella in my hand. l stopped outside the train station for a cig and a member of the public who was also smoking advised me to carry the ‘sword’ in a bag. l told him it was an umbrella and he laughed … then asked where l got it from.

Inside the train station there were 3 policeman stood together so l walked right in front of them and  to go to WH Smiths. There was no reaction from them so when l came back l walked past them again … still no reaction. Boarded the train and put the umbrella next to me so it was clearly visible. No reaction from the train staff.

Arrived Kings Cross station and had to wait an hour and a half for my daughter arriving. There were a number of police there as is always the case. l strolled about, drank coffee, went outside for a cig (twice) … no reaction from police or train station staff. 2 members of public did comment like the one at the train station where l set off from.

Daughter arrived and went to take tube to Earls Court, passed 2 policemen at entrance … no reaction. A passenger on tube train did comment about it. Left Earls Court past station staff … no reaction. Got picked up by my brother and that was the end of the day.

Next day l went walkng around London all day with the umbrella … Oxford Circus, Covent Garden, Embankment, Kings Road, Westminster. Result was same as previous day, despite passing many policemen and security staff … no reaction. However quite a few members of the public did comment on how l shouldn’t carry a samurai sword in public, when l explained it was an umbrella they all wanted to know where l got it from.

Next day took daughter to Stansted Airport via tube and train. Waited till she’d checked in and then returned by train and tube to Kings Cross station. Waited 2 hours for my brother as he was catching same train back home with me as his week ‘on’ working in London had finished. Arrive home station where me and my brother parted. l decided to walk to my daughters where my car was. l walked through the busy shopping centre and right through a group of 7 security staff and proceeded to carry on walkng to the busy main road to my daughters house.

Through all of this, never once was l stopped and asked about the samurai ‘sword’ by anyone in a uniform … not once! lt’s as though l was invisbile to them and cctv although not to members of the public. As l said previously, l was dressed very casually and was even wearing my Palestinian scarf. l made no effort to conceal the umbrella at anytime … it was clearly visible. l lost count of the number of police etc l passed, some within touching distance

Maybe the police, PCSO’s and security have x-ray eyes that can tell it’s an umbrella and not a samurai sword? … although one member of the public who stopped me in Covent Garden saw  it as a samurai sword and he was a martial arts expert and collected samurias!

Next time l go l’m taking a table leg in a`plastic bag!