‘Smoke’ On The Water

Just got back from a trip on P&O Ferries Hull. As some of you will know, l didn’t make  Patsy’s 4th Feb one … but courtesy of a great group from here ‘Up North’. they offered me a place f.o.c. on this one. They were fantastic company and l enjoyed every minute of it. They’re not bloggers so l won’t put up their names although l have been supplied with audio snippets from run ins with the UKBA … which l intend to post. Thanks guys.

Went to Adinkerke and Ostende this time so was able to distribute a lot of our info cards for Cross-Border Shoppers there. Met up with Peter from Real Tobacco and we had a very constructive meeting so expect an announcement soon that will be welcomed by Cross-Border Shoppers … although l expect not so welcomed by the UKBA. I was very impressed by the Real Tobacco shops and their level of service. l can thoroughly recommend them.

P&O were again out of stock of tobacco. Further enquiries revealed that they only have one delivery per week! … yes, ONE! It truly does beggar belief that this company loses so much business in these austere times. lt’s either incompetence or sheer stupidity … perhaps both. l wonder if l should tell their owner … the Royal Family of Dubai … in particular Sheikh Ahmed bin Saeed Al Maktoum ? Never met an arab who likes losing money, especially one from somewhere were they do actually cater for the smoker despite having non-smoking regs. Wonder if he’d give us better smoking facilities onboard?

l gave out many of our info cards onboard the ferry to smokers. l also talked to them about their rights and how to use them. None of them knew they could record the UKBA interviews and they all thought that they had to sign the UKBA officers notebook. That’s a whole load of people that the UKBA won’t find so easy to rob. Interestingly quite a few of them thought the guidelines of 800 cigarettes and 1 kg of tobacco were limits. lt was pleasing to see that when they got back onboard the ship for the return journey, they had purchased over the guidelines .l studied the returning passengers and was able to get those that l had missed the previous night (quite easy to spot them with their purchases in hand).

There was one guy who despite the info l gave him said he wouldn’t put our advice into action. He’d never been stopped by UKBA and firmly believed if he told them the truth he’d be fine. He didn’t want to antagonise them and would be nice and compliant. Well, best of luck mate!

Oh l forgot another thing about P&O. They were doing security checks on foot passengers … well pretending to, because they were really looking for alcohol. A dopier pair of drones you will never see. They were totally useless but still had the arrogance and power trip mentality. l wasn’t playing and voiced my objections to the other passengers waiting in the ‘long’ queue. This was certainly overheard by one of the P&O staff so when it got to my time for the 2 drones and their security theatre, this P&O person ushered me past them and onto the ship.

This morning when everyone was disembarking, l made a point to be last off. Once past passport control l was then faced by a host of UKBA dressed in their robocop attire. However, there was no-one being interrogated that l could see and l just walked right through the middle of them and was on my way. Wonder if they’ve been getting our message too? lol

So, l have a lot of new ‘friends’ and a job well done even though l do say it myself. All in all, a very satisfying and enjoyable trip … and 6 litres of JD also now in stock in  Smokeyville Towers!

Stay safe and spread the message to fellow shoppers. We ARE making a difference. lt’s up to YOU to make even more of a difference!

SH.     

Reasons to be Cheerful … Pt 3. The Baccy Cruise

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get. Well, we got academics, businessmen, anarchists, military, journalists, bikers (female), councillors, blue collar workers and that isn’t the complete list. Special mention has to go to a certain forklift truck driver who has changed my perception of forklift truck drivers for eternity! 🙂

We were not certain who would turn up because we had announced and given prior warning through this blog to the UKBA of our intentions. Our blog is constantly monitored by the UKBA and that has been confirmed by our lawyers. Not to mention both myself and Zaphod who are certainly not unknown to the UKBA. You’d think that this being the case it would put many people off coming on this baccy cruise. Well we needn’t have ‘worried’ … the turnout was great and by the end of the cruise we’d made further contacts and friends that swelled the numbers significantly.

lt certainly was a fun occasion with large amounts of alcohol being consumed along with the ‘smokes’ of course and loads of laughter 🙂 l only wish l’d had more time to spend with individual people but l understand Zaphod filled in admirably whilst l did the ’rounds’.

lt all began at arrival at the Hull Ferry Terminal where P&O treat us to 2 forms of security … one for foot passengers and one for those with vehicles. The foot passengers had their luggage x-rayed and searched for alcohol because P&O don’t ‘allow’ you to take your own alcohol onboard to try and force you to use their bars. We had forewarned everyone of this and suitable measures had been taken. Those that were travelling with vehicles were subject to no searches whatsoever! You have to wonder who thinks up these policies .. lol

P&O further compound their ‘no personal alcohol’ policy when you buy the spirits and wines from the onboard shop. They don’t allow you to collect it till the next morning … which leaves you with the alcohol for the return sailing. l can see a flaw in their thinking here 🙂

The shop has low stocks of tobacco but as most of our ‘crew’ had made other arrangements it tended not to matter. Some went to Brugge for their goods and others went to Ostende. Most people had pre-ordered their tobacco from Brugge so knew it was there to collect. Those that went to Ostende found that certain brands were not in plentiful supply or not in stock at all. lt would seem prudent therefore to pre-order before you travel. lt seems that a Mr Sked did this, he ordered well above the new guidelines and it was there waiting for him in Brugge …. all packed nicely in a black plastic bag with his name stuck to the side. 🙂

As for the amounts ordered l will only say that the amount we ordered were above the guidelines. As for the specific amounts l am not at liberty to say as it is restricted under Section 31 of the FOIA exemptions.

Now then … Mr P&O, l have some recommendations for you

Firstly, it may come as somewhat of a surprise to you but the majority of people using your Hull-Zeebrugge services are going to purchase tobacco for their own personal use. This being the case you would think it would be in your interest to have enough stock to satisfy these potential customers instead of letting the tobacco shops in Belgium have this business. lt seems commonsense to me, especially so as your company is not doing very well at the moment. ls the person in charge of the retail division a smokerphobe perhaps? This isn’t a one-off regarding very little stock that your ships carry on this run … it’s being going on for quite some time now. lt was like this a year ago!

Secondly, it may come as a surprise again but people who buy tobacco are virtually all smokers! So why the hell are you not catering for them? Just one small bar where smoking is allowed is not a lot to ask for. You are not bound under UK regulations, you fly under the Netherlands flag. Before you start coming up with excuses l should like to remind you that the Holland America Line with it’s many massive cruise ships also fly under the Netherlands flag and they do cater for smokers and have bars that allow smoking! ls the person in charge of the bars division another smokerphobe perhaps?

You must be losing a bloody fortune by not having the above. A fortune that you can’t afford to lose. l’d put money on it that if you did have a small smokers bar you would very soon alter it round so the small bar was non-smoking and the rest of the bars become smoking bars!

Thirdly, your non-smoking cabins … nah, l won’t bother with this. Everybody ignores it anyway! 🙂

Thanks again to EVERYONE that came and EVERYBODY that joined us during the cruise. Great fun and lots of contacts and new friends made …. not forgetting all the valuable new input!

l left the ship alongside Webbie’s car from Daytripper (thanks for the meal Sun night mate) and got no hassle from UKBA. The info held on me seems no longer on their screens. All Mr UKBA man did this time was glance at the screen and wave me on … a big change from them getting a cup of tea whilst they read all the notes! 🙂

No UKBA stop at the Sked Sheds either. Zaphod also encountered no UKBA stop and search as he disembarked as a foot passenger, they simply stood and watched. Our invite must not have arrived … or maybe it did!

Have to start organising Baccy Cruise 2 now lol

An Excellent Adventure … Truly Bodacious

Baccy Cruise was a great trip  …. thanks to Mr and Mrs Bucko, Patsy Nurse and partner/friends, Mr and Mrs Nominedeus, Webbie ( Daytripper), Visigoth and the Barbarians ….  and all the others too numerous to mention now for making it such a success.

l’ll do a full report later cos at the moment l’m knackered due to copious amounts of JD consumed and little sleep. 🙂

Thanks again to everyone!

** UPDATED ** Baccy Mini-Cruise 15th Oct … Meeting up details

Well folks … tomorrow is the mini-cruise so had better do some arranging for meeting up. Ship sails at 18.30 so text or phone me when it sails. l’ll then tell you where we are and you can come over and introduce yourselves. Don’t leave it too late to get in touch as all mobile signals will be lost when we are out to sea. After we’ve met each other we can then go and have dinner or whatever and then meet up at a later time for a few drinkies etc.

Note, it seems the onboard shop has a new policy of when you purchase spirits and wine you have to collect them in the morning. They already do this for beer. One assumes that they think this will get more sales at the bar 🙂 They sometimes search you for alcohol prior to boarding too. Rest is up to you 🙂

Shop does sell tobacco but has limited stock so if you are buying from there … get there early! You non-smokers that are only buying alcohol there is usually no problem.

So, our number …. 07586334281


(Note to any UKBA onboard … give us a call, come over and introduce yourselves … we don’t bite … well, maybe Justine does but l recall that’s only when she’s making love … or so l’ve heard … allegedly. No point in you UKBA being all alone if your bosses have told you to come on the cruise. Your bosses take a great deal of interest in our site doncha know? … they told our lawyers such. Hope you get all your drinks on expenses!!!! Be generous now!)


Update


Forgot to mention that the largest fair in the UK is on at the moment in Hull. lt’s located near the KC Stadium at West Park … and is called ‘Hull Fair’ 🙂 lt’s open from midday so if you want to have a look round, get to Hull a bit earlier and have a gander. 

A Little Help From Your Friends … for Baccy Mini-Cruise Part 2

As promised in Part 1 here’s the Excel chart for cigarettes the other one in Part 1 being for tobacco. Just enter the amounts where shown and it will do the rest for you. The password is the same as before n2d

A Little Help From Your Friends … for Baccy Mini-Cruise

Some people have difficulty with maths which can cause them problems with the UKBA if they are stopped and questioned. UKBA like to confuse people by asking how much things cost, ask for totals and how long their purchased tobacco will last.Contradictions or mistakes are seen as lying and frequently result in an excuse to confiscate your goods.

With that in mind we’ve done a little Excel sheet to help. Simply put in the price, amount, how many you smoke a day and how many roll-ups you get from a 50gm pouch and add the price of a 50gm pouch here in the UK and then it will give you the answers.

lt’s divided into 2 parts. One is for tobacco purchased for personal use and the other is for gifts. Remember you  should not receive anything for gifts from people and neither should you buy any tobacco for family or friends even if they give you the money.

You should know the price of your goods before you travel and the amount you are going to buy. So fill it in before you travel and print off. We’ll do one for cigarettes shortly.

Download the Excel doc from here, password is n2d to open it.

## Important Update ## Baccy Mini-Cruise 15th Oct

UKBA Deck 5 Pride of Bruges 1st Oct 2011

One of our friends on Facebook has just returned from Zeebrugge to Hull on P&O Ferries. He has informed us that according to some of the crew on the P&O ferry, the UKBA intend to blitz the route from Oct 1st when the new guidelines of 1kg tobacco and 800 cigarettes come in.This blitz will supposedly continue for the whole month.

This will be bad news for the legitimate cross-border shopper who is unprepared for the tactics they will face if stopped by the UKBA.

The UKBA hype will tell you that they are targeting smugglers but  this is a complete fallacy. Mr Smuggler is already exceeding the guidelines that are in place now of 3kg tobacco and 3200 cigarettes so these new lower guidelines will mean what to him? Errr, he’s exceeding the guidelines … duh!

Mr Smuggler is also prepared to lose shipments, it’s part and parcel of his business. Not for him is the interview interrogation. He (or his underlings) will leave the goods  and just walk away when UKBA say “You are not under arrest and can leave at anytime”. Mr Smuggler wants as little contact with the UKBA as possible. He’ll be back tomorrow or the next day/week … he remains in profit.

However if an unprepared, trusting legitimate shopper gets stopped by the UKBA, the odds are they will lose their goods because they said the wrong thing in the interrogation … and be out of pocket … and be condemned as a smuggler. This suits the UKBA because they can then crow about all the smugglers they’ve intercepted because they know that virtually none of their victims will appeal against the seizure. Job done!

ln the meantime, Mr Smuggler will have a load more new customers … all these legitimate cross-border shoppers who are now too frightened to shop abroad for their tobacco/cigarettes.

UKBA kid themselves they’ve won, Mr Smuggler on the other hand has definitely won.

So, to all those coming on the mini-cruise … please be prepared, We, ourselves, are very happy that UKBA could be planning to be there in force. lt’s exactly what we want and look forward to … we have some plans of our own. Maybe some of you intend to make a statement yourselves or maybe you are there just for the jolly …. we don’t know. All of you have booked independently and have no links to us so you can decide yourself how to proceed. We are not asking you to do what we do … you can just be sightseers if you wish, it’s totally up to you.

Join us onboard where we’ll have a drink or two or three whilst we all share our thoughts, experiences and knowledge. Looking forward to it immensely.

Anyone else wishing to join us can still book as tickets are still available.

See you onboard!      

Baccy Mini-Cruise 15th Oct £20-25 pp !!! Book Now! We have!

Ok, our crew have booked for the baccy mini-cruise and it’s costing £25 pp (2 sharing cabin, £20 pp 4 sharing cabin). lt sails Sat 15th Oct at 18.30 and is back in Hull on the 17th Oct at 08.15.

Book from HERE …. Don’t click on Mini-Cruise offer. Book from top of booking page as per pic below. Fill in details as per pic unless 4 of you or taking vehicle. Just alter them details to suit. Don’t book bus transfers Zeebrugge- Brugge, Brugge – Zeebrugge yet unless you specifically feel the need!

Some of our crew are taking a vehicle and for them it’s costing £37 pp.

For these prices you get 2 nights on the ferry with cabins … what’s not to like????

For all those who said they are coming, now is the time to show that you are not just talking the talk but can walk the walk! Get booking now … the places are limited and will go fast so don’t hang about.

Don’t book transfers … the rest is up to you for such as upgrades in cabins and meals. Those going by themselves should add a name (any name) of a passenger as it’s 2 for 1. Let us know you’ve done it so we can fill the space for you and you get your fare back for it then.

LET ME KNOW YOU’VE BOOKED!

Book here

Your booking should look something like this (click pic to embiggen) :-

Return leg of cruise will show 16th Oct as ship sails all
night an you arrive in Hull on the 17th Oct
Chop chop …. get it done!
See you onboard!

🙂

## UPDATED ## BOOKINGS! … Baccy Mini-Cruise

Bookings can be made from Mon 12th Sept from P&O … link here 

Book for the cruise sailing on 15th Oct 2011, returning on 17th Oct 2011. Do NOT add extras such as bus transfers to Brugge at this moment in time until we know how many are definitely going. lf need be these can be added later.

lf you are travelling alone …. book for 2 as it is 2 for 1 offer, use any name as it can be changed without charge. This way we can fill these extra places and you get the cost of their fare.

Book as foot passenger, there is parking at the port but we could arrange other parking too.

Let me know you’ve booked!

Savvy, m’hearties?   See you onboard!

UPDATE

You should be able to book immediatelty after midnight tonight according to P&O

**Status** First Baccy Mini-Cruise Sat 15th Oct

We have 18 confirmed for this trip so far which is very pleasing. l would’ve hated to have gone as Billy No Mates!

So, if any of you were holding back because you thought you’d be the only ones, you have, as the Aussies say, ‘No Worries’. Get in touch via e-mail (nothing_2_declare@ymail.com) or Facebook and let us know you’re coming. Join the crew!

There are some vehicles going so depending on numbers there will be lifts into town centre and back. When we arrive in Zeebrugge we have shoppers going to Bruges and Ostende. Either destination has experienced travellers going so you’ll be able to get advice on shopping and transport etc. lf you just want to go by yourselves … that’s fine too … everyone does as they want.

When booking starts on the 12th Sept please book without the option of transport from P/O. I find it expensive and there are cheaper ways of getting into the town centres. Advice will be given on this and if all else fails or you prefer …  the transport from P/O is still available

Regarding shopping for tobacco, l prefer Bruges simply because l like Bruges. Others prefer Ostende so it is up to you where you go. l would advise you to pre-order your tobacco though so you know it’s there and not out of stock. ln Bruges you can pre-order from here. You don’t have to put any deposit down, credit card details or the like … they simply reserve it for you. Payment is in Sterling.

There is tobacco onboard the ship for sale … see here, but be aware that stocks are usually very limited and they often run-out.

How much can you bring back? … As much as like for your own personal use and gifts … THERE ARE NO LIMITS! Be prepared though .. whether you are above the UKBA guidelines or not. Think of it as insurance … preparation is EVERYTHING! UKBA will take it off you if you give them the chance … make sure you don’t give them the chance! Contact us and we’ll advise you on your specific purchase intentions. For those buying cigarettes … the same applies.

Some of the 18 (to date) going on this trip are non-smokers, they are coming to support us … and have a fun time! Both me and Zaphod fully expect to be pulled by UKBA upon our return as we are high profile and a constant pain in the ass for UKBA … that’ll be fun for us!

Not forgetting that you have a cheap weekend away. Where else can you get 2 nights accommodation and a trip abroad for 20-30 quid? lt’s worth it for that alone, never mind the cheap tobacco, wine, chocs etc. lt’s as cheap as chips!

We want and expect the trip to have a party atmosphere and everyone enjoy themselves. We shall of course talk about how to deal with the UKBA and how to expose their illegal, unjust, corrupt, robbing tactics.

We ARE Legitimate Cross-Border Shoppers, we are NOT smugglers! We will NOT be intimidated by the UKBA! Time to FIGHT BACK!